Foreboding

At 625pm today, I had a sense of foreboding about the evening. I knew that it wasn't going to be good. Mentioned it to Dane and he said exactly the same thing. What do you know! It certainly didn't turn out well. Why is that so? Is there a spiritual force behind what we feel, what we say, and what actually happens? Just two hours ago, I was believing that it was a coincidence, or an accurate sixth sense of mine. But in the last few minutes, as I type this, I am suddenly reminded of the power of our words and declarations. Speak forth words of blessing and you will be a blessing; speak forth curses and you will be a curse.

Pastor Derek reminded us that life is about God and me. I covet, envy, hang on, strive, with all worldy desire, but nothing fulfills besides the Holy Spirit. They tell us not to be content with the status quo, but how can you constantly be discontented? What if the Lord doesn't mind us being mediocre? And I'm asked to face the music; to not run away. In a sense you're right, I might be trying to run away. But on the other hand, I know that I have to do it, it is an opportunity for me to find God again, to be forced to rely on Him only. It sort of came as a slap on the face- realising that I tell others to let go and place their most precious possessions on the altar, trusting God to do whatever He wants with them. But not doing it myself, because it is so difficult, so difficult. My mind rationals that it is more prudent to hang on, to be safe. But that is not what the Lord wants of me. He can only bring His work to completion if I surrender my life and all in it to Him.

I spayed Tink yesterday. Pauline was right in saying that you should never spay your own cat. Her skin landmarks were probably displaced by her previous injuries, and man was my incision caudal. I had to extend it to become 3cm instead of the normal 1cm, poor little thing. Cut through muscle instead as well. >.<

Hm I don't know what I'm writing tonight, all in a jumble. No Grey's anatomy, silly Emmy's.:( Wonder if my pyometra dog will be alive tomorrow. The crazy cat which swallowed a needle and thread certainly will be, even though he bit his poor grandma owner multiple times.